Marriage pt. 2

Dear readers,

I hope you all are faring well. It is a pleasure to be able to share with you all once again another interesting blog today. This is a continuation from last week’s blog.

The very mobile device, that replaced the landline telephone of many decades, was envisioned to be a device that would bridge the distance between couples who had to live separately continuously due to work. In as much as it has done some good, the same device has now become a third partner in many relationships. Many people spend more time with their phones than they do with their partners. In relationships where the mobile device hasn’t become the third partner, it has helped to find a third partner for spouse’s who are unfaithful. If we must succeed in our relationships then we must place first things first. We must see that if it has to work then it depends on us. We must be as accommodating as possible and as tolerant as we can be, as if we had a huge cash price to win at the end of every year we made it together. Of course this doesn’t mean we should be in an abusive relationship and turn deaf ears to advice asking us to seek help.

Truth be told, many relationships that end up been abusive could have been avoided, if only the people involved had paid attention to the signs. There are always signs from which we can tell how a relationship will be. We often choose not to pay attention to them. This is because in today’s society of constant cutthroat competition, many people want to get married just so that they can be off the single club. To many people, marriage is just an opportunity to show off our engagement rings or throw a lavish wedding party to impress people who we don’t even care about. Again, some people want to get married but very few actually want to stay married. I usually say this a lot and with each passing day, I am beginning to realize it even more.  When we look at the lives of women in the past and the kind of sacrifices they made for love or for a spouse, and then we look at what we have today, it is sad. No doubt, the same thing can be said of Men too. Chivalry is almost dead, and being gentlemanly is no longer a thing. Women were modest, bashful, and soft-spoken, sex was intimate and pure.

Today Men are weak, chivalry is seen as been less of a Man, and Men who actually are Gentlemen are seen as “too nice”. Women complain of a lack of real Men but also ignore these Men and run after low class Men because they seek “spontaneity” or even openly admit to liking Men who are “bad”. Thus we have a whole generation growing up and thinking it is cool to be bad. Soft-spoken and bashful women are seen as weak and loud bad mouthed women are seen as the epitome of women liberation. Sex is a game and the more partners you have, the more proficient you are at it. Men who refuse to make sexual advances as a sign of respect to women are seen by some women as “slow, weak, and less of a Man”, while Men who jump from one woman to another are described as “studs”. Women who are chaste and faithful to one partner are seen as boring and those who post the most explicit things about their bodies online are described as real and down to earth.

Professions that many of our grandparents would cringe at and keep their daughters (our mothers today) away from, are the same professions we as a generation are celebrating and even encouraging our daughters to go into. Men who earn a honest living doing legal jobs are described as low budget Men and those who engage in nefarious ways with shady deals, are praised as the real MVP. Men who save money for a better future and who believe in moderation and delayed gratification in other to build a secure future are not given a chance, because there are many big spenders in the club “making it rain”. The most heart-wrenching part of it all is that, the very few Men and Women who still believe in Love, hard work, commitment and decency are been ridiculed and many of them who lack the tough skin are slowly giving in to the modern day norm.

If marriages are failing today more than ever, we are the cause! We are responsible for all of it. If we have more single mothers and fathers today more than ever, we are the cause and we are responsible. If we have more divorce cases today than before, we are the cause and we are all responsible; Men and Women alike. The good part is we can also be the solution. We can gradually take back what we once had and reinstate it in a place of admiration. Couples with strong long lasting marriages should be idolized and be the ones we make trend on social media, not those who have no sense of decency whatsoever. Men of substance and good standing should be followed, not those who possess empty form and no substance. Women who know what it is to be a real woman and who stand by their husbands should be glorified and not those who swing from Man to Man as if there was a reward for it.

The solution is simple for those who are simple minded, and complex for those who are complex minded. If Love is important to both partners, then they will find a way to make it work even in our crazy world. When we want something we will find a way despite the odds and make a reason to continue, when we don’t then we will find an excuse despite the possibilities.

Till next week, do read, share and follow for more.



Dear readers, subscribers, friends and well wishers,

I hope you all are faring well. Today is a very special day for this blog page as it is exactly a year since it was started and so far so good, I must say it has been a fulfilling experience.

I just want to thank you all for your support, encouragements and follower-ship, it means a lot to me and together we can make this year even better than the previous year.

May you all get the benediction of the Supreme Lord in your various spiritual pursuits.

Thank you, Merci Beaucoup, Hvala, Gracias….


The thin line between Religion and Institution

OllowDear readers,

I am glad to share with you all today another interesting topic, one that many of us have to deal with on a regular basis. I hope you all are faring well.
In one way or another, many of us subscribe to one faith or another and we may also refer to it as a religion if we please. We pray in a certain fashion, fast on certain days, worship in a certain mode and even dress in specific ways. Over and above all, we try to follow the precepts of our religions as best as we can or as we should. This in itself is laudable and we try to instill these very morals in those we are responsible for.
Over the years and for centuries, religion has affected the lives of many people, positively and negatively. We may choose to ignore some of the real and glaring facts however burying our heads in sand doesn’t make the problem disappear, rather we must look at it decisively and take action adequately.
An institution on the other hand is a body founded for a specific purpose, be it social, business or even spiritual. One interesting feature about an institution which we may already know is that it survives on bureaucracy; a system where by decision is taken by some selected members and not by everyone. In itself, it can function and survive quite well, however when intertwined with religion the dynamics isn’t always the best. Let us look at some very practical examples, today Islam has spread the world over with a large number of followers through various means such as jihad, conversions, members having many wives and offsprings and thus growing strong also from inside out. Every country has a its own chief Imam and they act mainly as guides in the country. There is no main or central body that gives laws for all muslims the world over, because the Quran is their centre of reference. Even though they may disagree on some of the interpretations given by different sects of the faith, the general idea is when there is a disagreement or opposing views on an idea, they all turn to the Quran.
In terms of growth, we all must agree they have been successful. (Please note that when I speak of Islam and muslims I in no way include the radicals who hurt people in the name of religion, I speak only of those who follow their religion peacefully).
Christianity has also spread through out the world by various means such as the crusaders, colonialism, conversions, evangelism and above all the ability of every church to operate as an individual unit, separate and distinct from every other church in the world. Now we all know the catholics still operate a system where the vatican is the governing body for all catholics, however we also must honestly admit that the pentecostals have risen and grown more that the catholics because they have a greater filed of operation with less intrusions from an institution that creates laws which may or may not necessarily be applicable in every field. What do I mean? For example, Joel Osteen as a pastor runs his church and all affiliates according to a system he feels best, and similarly T.D Jakes naturally does the same. The only thing they both have in common is they preach from the Bible and proclaim Jesus, but there is no institution or body whatsoever that controls them, gives them laws or tries to meddle with their internal affairs. Now in as much as central coordination has some advantages, in religious matters and at least in Christianity, churches have risen more because every pastor has a large autonomy on how he runs his church. Are they successful? Yes!
We may define success by various parameters but when it comes to outreach and members, we must give kudos to our Christian brothers.
In this light if those who practice gaudiya vaisnavism want to have a huge impact on the world, they must first start by de-institutionalizing the religion. When bureaucracy mixes with religion, you have a system that is almost similar to dictatorship, because those in the administrative part of the religion may and often misuse their power. In a normal religious circle, advancement should be judged by how much a person has lived his life in total surrender to God’s will and instructions, in a religion that is institutionalized, often times advancement or progress is judged by how soon one can climb the socio-spiritual ladder, and how many positions you have.
Local leaders who manage centers do not have any autonomy because at anytime, someone sitting at a place thousands of meters away probably in another continent can pass a law that totally disrupts the local preaching. A local preacher may find himself subject to the laws and dictate of a leader who is high on the institutional ladder but junior in spirituality, because in the light of things position has a heavier weight than spiritual advancement, thus he is bound to comply. Someone may argue to the effect that administration in itself is not a hindrance to the advancement of any religion and in fact helps it grow. In this regard need I mention that in almost all major religious texts of Islam, Christianity and Hinduism, none of the great saints and prophets ever felt the need to establish a religious body governed by circular administration. Jesus didn’t build a church talk less of put anyone as a general overseer neither did Caitanya Mahaprabhu establish any Temple, and install anyone as president. Rather all the past saints advised people to grow spiritually and thence encourage others to grow following their example.
If religion must grow truly in its pure and undiluted form, it has to do so without the interference of circular management. If a religion must spread rapidly, then the preachers must believe they are part of the religion and are accountable for their preaching endeavors and not subject to “powers that be”. When preachers feel encroached on and incapacitated in using their own discretion and judgement in matters that concern their local preaching, they gradually begin to hold back and with time they don’t give their best any more. Why should they anyway, when one man or a group of people can over turn it all in a blink of an eye.
As usual I shall give you all sometime to soak this up and we shall deliberate more on this matter latter. It is four days to valentine and I wanted to do something on Love but I guess I shall postpone that till next week.
Till then do read, internalize and follow this blog space for more amazing articles. You don’t want to miss anything.