Compromise

Dear readers,

I hope you all are faring well, it is a great pleasure to be able to share with you all yet another topic this week.

This week I felt I harp a bit on something I feel is a rather crucial factor in any relationship. Over the years I have always wondered what could be a solid factor that has saved many relationships from ruin and the list ranges from Love, commitment, friendship, compromise, service etc. In this discussion, however, we will be looking at compromise as a factor that has helped many relationships in the past and present. So what exactly does it mean to compromise? To compromise means to have an agreement or settlement of a dispute where each has to make a concession.

Almost every relationship would at some point experience some turbulence and when the ship begins to rock from the stormy waters, it is sometimes difficult to reach a healthy agreement, if both partners are not in tune with each other. Whenever there is a disagreement in a relationship, be it a conflict in ideas, thoughts, a difference in opinion on matters that both parties hold important, or just mere daily choices, it is important to understand that there is a lot more than “having our way”. Generally, as human beings, we all have our own opinions and every healthy relationship should definitely allow us the chance to express this to the fullest without incapacitating our partners. However, there comes a point when there is a lot more to expressing our views than just wanting to be heard.

Without realizing it, many people may unconsciously want a desire to be met or an opinion taken as absolute because it validates an unspoken need to feel important or to lord over everything. This need could be innocent or sometimes motivated depending on the individual. Since we do not possess special abilities to read our partner’s mind and intention, we all have to rely on our senses, and they are also imperfect in nature. Due to this fact, we have to be very careful about how we react or judge the actions of our significant other. This is where compromise comes in. Basically compromise in any given situation means; you have a strong ground and I also do, however, we want to work together without allowing these seemingly different opinions come between us. So in other to do this, we are both willing to take a step/multiple steps towards a common point and then work from there.

The beauty of being able to make a compromise in a situation of conflicting interest is that it reminds our partners that we do love them as much as we profess and that we are willing to accept some discomfort so that the relationship can thrive. Compromise helps sustain the life airs of the relationship, while egocentric decisions snuff the life out of the relationship. Compromise helps us remember to put the other person’s feelings into consideration instead of just dwelling on ours. Compromise in a relationship is a way of acknowledging our partner’s individuality while existing in a strong bonded relationship. If we do not have a spirit of service then reaching a compromise can be difficult. If we do not have the spirit of fellowship in the relationship then reaching a compromise is also difficult. The concept of compromise in a relationship, however, goes a step further than this.

The ultimate form of compromise is when a couple consciously decides to make a compromise for the “third partner”. The third partner being the Supreme Lord. In every relationship that is based on higher spiritual values, the couple should involve the Supreme Lord as a third partner. He acts as the basis of the relationship and helps to always bring things to center and perspective. The couple works together as a team to build all they have for the sole pleasure of God. In all that they do, even if they have seemingly different views and perspectives, they can both come to a compromise that is uplifting and fulfilling in the long run. In a regular relationship, sometimes couples may feel that they always have to make a compromise while a partner doesn’t, and with time this can tell on the bond shared.

In a relationship where God is the third partner, this feeling is not there because the compromises made are all done for the satisfaction of the Lord and not for either of the partner’s interest. Ultimately the results of such compromises are still enjoyed by those in the relationship but with a sense of service to the Lord. No one feels pressured to always initiate a compromise and as such there are less ill feelings. Another interesting point about making a compromise for the “third partner” is that the compromise is a middle ground that both partners have accepted from a place of solid scriptural understanding. They make these compromises knowing fully well what the outcome is because of previous couples in the path of their faith who have made similar compromises.

As a matter of fact, those couples who have been able to establish the place of the Lord as a third partner in the relationship would soon notice that they have lesser compromises to make. This is so because every decision they make or anything they do, they do so knowing full well that is meant for the satisfaction of the Lord. Thus the concept of I, Me and Mine is reduced to a very minute extent. The more we think less of ourselves and more of the Lord, the more we can experience real happiness and peace in our relationship. A large percentage of the frustrations in a relationship are from unfulfilled desires that each partner carries around with the hope and intention that they can somehow realize it within the relationship. Thus simply put; working in the relationship to satisfy their own senses. Compromises will be made no doubt, the real question is whom do we make it for and how.

Till next week, do read, share and follow for more.

 

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