Marriage pt. 2

Dear readers,

I hope you all are faring well. It is a pleasure to be able to share with you all once again another interesting blog today. This is a continuation from last week’s blog.

The very mobile device, that replaced the landline telephone of many decades, was envisioned to be a device that would bridge the distance between couples who had to live separately continuously due to work. In as much as it has done some good, the same device has now become a third partner in many relationships. Many people spend more time with their phones than they do with their partners. In relationships where the mobile device hasn’t become the third partner, it has helped to find a third partner for spouse’s who are unfaithful. If we must succeed in our relationships then we must place first things first. We must see that if it has to work then it depends on us. We must be as accommodating as possible and as tolerant as we can be, as if we had a huge cash price to win at the end of every year we made it together. Of course this doesn’t mean we should be in an abusive relationship and turn deaf ears to advice asking us to seek help.

Truth be told, many relationships that end up been abusive could have been avoided, if only the people involved had paid attention to the signs. There are always signs from which we can tell how a relationship will be. We often choose not to pay attention to them. This is because in today’s society of constant cutthroat competition, many people want to get married just so that they can be off the single club. To many people, marriage is just an opportunity to show off our engagement rings or throw a lavish wedding party to impress people who we don’t even care about. Again, some people want to get married but very few actually want to stay married. I usually say this a lot and with each passing day, I am beginning to realize it even more.  When we look at the lives of women in the past and the kind of sacrifices they made for love or for a spouse, and then we look at what we have today, it is sad. No doubt, the same thing can be said of Men too. Chivalry is almost dead, and being gentlemanly is no longer a thing. Women were modest, bashful, and soft-spoken, sex was intimate and pure.

Today Men are weak, chivalry is seen as been less of a Man, and Men who actually are Gentlemen are seen as “too nice”. Women complain of a lack of real Men but also ignore these Men and run after low class Men because they seek “spontaneity” or even openly admit to liking Men who are “bad”. Thus we have a whole generation growing up and thinking it is cool to be bad. Soft-spoken and bashful women are seen as weak and loud bad mouthed women are seen as the epitome of women liberation. Sex is a game and the more partners you have, the more proficient you are at it. Men who refuse to make sexual advances as a sign of respect to women are seen by some women as “slow, weak, and less of a Man”, while Men who jump from one woman to another are described as “studs”. Women who are chaste and faithful to one partner are seen as boring and those who post the most explicit things about their bodies online are described as real and down to earth.

Professions that many of our grandparents would cringe at and keep their daughters (our mothers today) away from, are the same professions we as a generation are celebrating and even encouraging our daughters to go into. Men who earn a honest living doing legal jobs are described as low budget Men and those who engage in nefarious ways with shady deals, are praised as the real MVP. Men who save money for a better future and who believe in moderation and delayed gratification in other to build a secure future are not given a chance, because there are many big spenders in the club “making it rain”. The most heart-wrenching part of it all is that, the very few Men and Women who still believe in Love, hard work, commitment and decency are been ridiculed and many of them who lack the tough skin are slowly giving in to the modern day norm.

If marriages are failing today more than ever, we are the cause! We are responsible for all of it. If we have more single mothers and fathers today more than ever, we are the cause and we are responsible. If we have more divorce cases today than before, we are the cause and we are all responsible; Men and Women alike. The good part is we can also be the solution. We can gradually take back what we once had and reinstate it in a place of admiration. Couples with strong long lasting marriages should be idolized and be the ones we make trend on social media, not those who have no sense of decency whatsoever. Men of substance and good standing should be followed, not those who possess empty form and no substance. Women who know what it is to be a real woman and who stand by their husbands should be glorified and not those who swing from Man to Man as if there was a reward for it.

The solution is simple for those who are simple minded, and complex for those who are complex minded. If Love is important to both partners, then they will find a way to make it work even in our crazy world. When we want something we will find a way despite the odds and make a reason to continue, when we don’t then we will find an excuse despite the possibilities.

Till next week, do read, share and follow for more.

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